A man walks into a bar...

*A man walks into the Royal Oak with a wheel of cheese under one arm and a squealing piglet under the other*

Hey! *wide smile*... Who owns this place anyhow? Seriously this is not a joke...

*Crypto looks around wondering why everyone is staring at him funny*

What?!?! *sets the cheese and piglet in the kitchen as a friendly token of gift* Really, I want to inquire about purchase or lease... sooooo... who owns it? I never see em here.

*Gets himself a snifter of brandy and sits infront of the bar*

Mara stands behind the bar. Two powerful wizards own it and have no intentions of selling I'm sorry. This s their retirement you might say.

She goes back to serving a few drinks.

*smiles polite* Well they need some gimicks to get the place full of people again. It's been more or less dead since I arrived in the Dales two seasons ago.

My thanks

*bows head and walks out*

Sen Thia looks over as Crypto walks by with the pig and cheese.
"Hey...", she calls out,"where did you get that ugly creature??".
Then she tries her best effort at ventriloquism to make the pig answer.."ahh well
*snort*, I found him outside."

*Crypto answers back in a slightly lousier ventriloquism try, with a false setto lady voice as the pig*

How DARE you speak of my husband thus so! Do you realize you are addressing Morto the Magnificient?! Champion pig racer and ham curer extraordinaire!

*snort huffs, continuing to ventriloqize as the pig*

Now come my darling, we are late for the Oily Suidine Ball. Did you bring the axle grease my dear Morto? You know how olive oil makes me break out the hives.

*Crypto kisses the pig on the head and sighs*

Yes dear... *then addressing Sen*

Oh the stage is in there by the way miss, for your little stand up routine... but um *coughs with a smirk*... don't quit your day job.

Sen'Thia's brow furrows and she responds , almost to herself..." what? Day job? ... Gosh I never thought of working during the day ... Hmmm. ".

She seems lost in the idea of not sleeping until the sun sets

*smiles warmly and sets the pig free which trucks off in primal haste*

Well stay up until the gold stops flowing, is my mantra *grins and hands her some sheet music*

You're a professional of sorts... right?

Perhaps you'd be interested in a little coin gathering troupe? Something in the key of... hmmm... money?

She takes the sheet music with a smile, and with out looking at it she responds softly.
" You can pick any Key you like... A, B, ... C... Or maybe the Key of D-mented ... Or even thd Key of D-cay ... Especially good for Kelemvorite musicians , who enjoy D-composing..."
With a twinkle in her brown eyes, she glances down at the notes and staffs , swaying her head slightly, envisioning the tune.
"Sure, this is fine... Now tell me more about this .... Gold".

*smiles brightly*

Ah, I thought you might see the light. Well I got this elf friend, who plays a mean elf flute...

*smirks*

Feel free to insert standup one liner here... *waits for a dirty elf flute joke*...

...And we had a rip roaring time, boozing it up and coming up with songs on the spot. I figure if we get a few us together to each throw in their special entertainment value and actually WORK the songs out, we might have something of a touring minstrel here. I heard a performer can walk out of the Oak here with four figures in tips alone!

I think you are A-natural little miss and perhaps just the amount of F'd up this troupe might need. I'll ask my Elektra if she's up for it too. Her rhymms are KILLER! *chuckles and quirks a brow*

Hmm, funny I ain't seen you two together yet... *beams* She'd be all over you like stink on a pig!

*looks around* That remins me, where did that infernal swine get off to?! That's our star puppeteer!!!

" Four figures??? At once ?", she looked back imagining how to keep their names straight.
"Look, I just do music ... Usually... But I would be interested in all that gold you mentioned.
Ahh, as far as that Elektra person, I have no idea ... Some reason I guess we just miss crossing paths. Besides , if she is the jealous type , I don't need any new holes in my body ... It's enough just managing the ones I have now.
So. Sure , let's work on the music... If excess booze had not faded your memory, I know you have seen me dance.
But I have had some bad moments with men in my previous entertainment group .. The Obscene Jesters... And I had to leave them.
It is like that old saying... The best laid hands of the nicest men can sometimes go astray ! ... Oh wait..
Or was it ... The best laid plans of mice and men can sometimes go astray ... Hummm ?"