Break

Starting today, I will be taking a break from DMing for a bit. I may be playerside a bit, but I don't know.

Please forward requests/questions/concerns to another DM for the time being. If it has to do with SD, please feel free to send me the PM, but realize that I will not get to it until I return. I'll try to keep my inbox fairly open so nothing gets missed.

It will be at least a week.

EDIT: Token requests, rebuild requests should be relatively caught up unless they are still in discussion.

Bump to this:

Quote :

Please forward requests/questions/concerns to another DM for the time being.

Extended to at least the 24th, if not longer.

A small update and a bit of an explanation on what's going on. Quite a few people have asked if I'm just burnt out and leaving staff entirely. This is not true.

I am currently back in the States once more. Unfortunately, I had another funeral to attend due to the unexpected death of one of my uncles. The break that I have been taken is not only because I needed a breather to try to ease stress, but also because I can't get in game and have RL things that are boiling over right now.

Since I've been gone, I'm still getting a number of PMs from people that apparently aren't being sent to other DMs. I implore all of you to please send your requests like rebuilds and the like to other DMs. I simply can not take it right now, and I won't be able to get to them in a timely manner. Only reason I caught up to things today was because I was unable to sleep.

RL is really taking a giant crap on me right now and I would greatly appreciate people going to other DMs for the time being.

Those of you that have sent me storyline questions and the like, I have added them to my list of things to do when I return to Canada on the 27th. Please be patient.

Thank you for understanding.

*gives Sapph a hug*

I'm sorry for your loss, Sapphire.

My deepest condolences.

Back.

Welcome back

Here have a potato

As many have likely noticed, my DM activity has cut to nothing for what is now coming onto the 2 week marker.

Lately, the negativity has been too much for me and completely crushed my motivation to DM. I realize that it's not fair to let a couple people ruin the fun I try to create for other players, but sometimes it just gets to be too much before the weight just breaks you down.

You may all think that it's weird a DM would let this get to them so much. Well, here's a bit of background as to why.

At this moment in time, I am going through immigration into Canada. During this time, I am not allowed to work or go to school. There are no animal shelters around to volunteer at (we don't have a car to be able to go into town), and the only place I could volunteer is a nursing home, which I can't bring myself to do as it's only been a year since I lost my grandmother.

All in all, doing things for this server is basically all I have to feel as if I am doing something in life. I am very passionate about this place because it has been in my life since 2012. It has formed from just a bud of a seed into a flower that is now beginning to blossom, despite the mud and dirt it may have had to push through. I want to see this server become that beautiful flower. There is no such thing as perfection, especially when there are so many definitions with so many people in this community. But I'm sure we can come pretty damn close.

With this passion I exhibit for the server, comes pain. The negativity brings me down further due to this. It may not be fair, and it may not be right, but it is, and has been, certainly happening lately.

I do not want to push myself to DM in this state, because I do not want to burn myself out to the point where I leave the server, which is very close to where I am right now. For now, I will continue this break and try my best to pull together again. The server deserves good DMing. Not a depressed, angry and grumbly DM.

I may be on once or twice to help run collab events with other DMs (you know who you are), as I do want to do that and work as a team with them. But I will likely not be active. Hopefully the collab events will help to inspire.

Thank you players for understanding. I will keep an eye on my PM box to ensure things are handled as need be.

Take the time you need, Saph. You deserve it. Everyone gets burned out once in a while and you don't deserve to feel that way. I hope those with such negativity realize the impact it has upon the DM team. DMing is no easy task.

Try to take some time for yourself. <3

Take as much time as you need. We'll get by without you, and when you get back we'll have a big ol' potato party in your honor. <3

Sapphire, I hope it's a good and real break.

As you know, I share your passion for this server, your vision for something very special here, and your frustration when technical or player-created drama causes setbacks.

You don't owe anyone an explanation, but thanks for telling us a bit about your situation. Maybe it reminds someone that there are people behind these screen names.

Hope you cool your jets, miss us, and come back so we can shower you with hugs and potato monsters and whatever else you'd like.

This is supposed to be fun, and that is especially true for DM's!

*sends many many many hugs your way*

Have fun, take your time, replenish and come back when you can, thanks for all the fun.

Greetings, players.

As you have read, I was taking an indefinite break until I could relax a bit about DMing for this server.

I am (honestly) happy to say that I will be returning slowly over the next week or so.

Now, with this return, there are a few things that I want people to be understanding of.

1. Just because I am your friend does not mean you get special privileges. This is self explanatory, and you'd think it'd be known, but this is not always the case. I get close with people online here because I enjoy socializing here. The community can be wonderful when people are getting along. We are all roleplayers here, so there's always at least one thing we have in common. However, I simply can not tolerate people acting as if they are 'special' because they may have my personal Skype or otherwise. I do not mean this to come off as rude in the slightest. I hope you guys understand.

2. My Skype is NOT how you should contact me for a request/question/complaint about X player or X DM, or otherwise. This is of course, unless it is an emergency. I do not mind discussing something fun as far as the server is concerned, or even discussing concepts. However, know that if you are coming to me and asking me questions as a DM, I am not going to answer unless it's a serious thing. Your event requests/questions can go in a PM for me to handle when I have my "DM Hat" on, so to speak. (Thank you to cdnspr for that term ) I can't tell you how many times I get "I know I'm not supposed to ask you DM things here, but..." It does pile up, guys.

3. Speaking of "DM Hat", there is something I've noticed quite often when it comes to PMs or any discussions with players. We as the staff, when we post, are normally speaking on behalf of the ENTIRE staff. This is why we have to be very careful in what we say. If a PM is sent to you with a warning, this does not mean that single staff member has an issue with you. It's simply that they were chosen to send the PM on behalf of staff. I know there have been instances in the past of staff members reaching out on their own, but for the most part, when 'staff' talks to you in an official capacity, it is nine times out of ten on behalf of the entire staff unless stated otherwise. Are you confused and don't know if it is or not? Ask. If you have reason to believe the staff member is not acting in an official capacity, please notify AHDM Carbuncle, AHDM Archimedes, or myself and we will look into the matter.

4. I am human. I have stressed just like all of you, and I struggle just as you all do. Remember that words hurt, even if you think you're in the right. Telling someone who devotes hours equal to a full time job with overtime that they do not set real priorities...well it hurts. A lot. Regardless of what you may mean. I ask everyone to take a step back and think about what's being said before you hit that enter key or send button. This goes for me as well.

This leads me into my next area I want to discuss. My own understanding with the playerbase. As I return, I want the playerbase to know that I am working on the following:

1. Not taking things personal. I realize (and have known for quite a while) that I take complaints rather personal. This is, as I've explained before, due to the fact I am so devoted to this game. This goes for many of our staff. It's something that I know I need to work on, and I promise you all I'm going to try my hardest to get better with it.

2. Activity. In the past, I have devoted so much time into this server that I have burnt myself out. The issue is that I can't say no to people, and many of the players on this server take advantage of this. Likely not even purposefully. In the future, I am going to be cutting my time a bit for the server, but not in that I won't be full time. What this means is that while in the past I woke up and spent 14-16 hrs per day working on DB (events, plotting, admin, etc), in the future, I will be cutting this time at least in half.

3. Progress in Shadowdale! I am pleased to announce that I am working on doing some building for Shadowdale currently. I will be slowly working towards reflecting in game happenings to get us a nice update. I will also be tweaking a few things and adding a nice surprise cherry on top of all of this. It won't be as pretty as Myth Drannor, of course, as Shadowdale is supposed to just be a farm town. However, I am certainly going to be giving it an update to reflect lore more.

OVERALL!

Please take it easy on me as I come back. Remember that we all have faces behind the screen, and while someone may be smiling and happy towards you through text, they could be seriously hurting in real life. Take care in your words, and I will do the same with all of you.

I would like to end this with a few links that I hope will help some people in case they need to reach out for help if they need it. It has nothing to do with the game, but everything to do with you and your safety.

Canada Suicide Prevention
USA Suicide Prevention
International Association for Suicide Prevention
Adorable Cat Video Compilation

Thank you for reading this wall of text, and I look forward to seeing you all again.

AHDM Sapphire

Glad you're back. Anytime you need you have mine and Bedlams Skype. Love ya kiddo.

Because I suck at words...

...have a hug instead.

Yay!





That's all I got.

I am glad you are feeling better sweetie - or so at least I take your words.  You've been nothing but nice to me since joining here and it makes me feel good to know things are at least ok with you. 

Maybe you'd like to participate in a snarky song contest that Sheighley was ruining about doing?  

Many huggles.